#Determination
de-ter-mi-na-tion
1. Firmness of purpose; resoluteness
"she advanced with an unflinching determination"
This has been a difficult week. When I started this study I was completely on board and so excited. And the first week went great. This week however… I’ve really been struggling with it. I was going thru the motions of participating, but not “feeling” it. I did my morning quiet time and read my bible, but my heart was not present. I didn’t WANT to crave God, I wanted those stupid donuts. I even resisted praying for the strength to walk away. I was being tempted by the world and I was falling fast. I didn’t even want to ask people to hold me accountable. Ugh. FAIL.
HOWEVER… Here comes the good part! Last night, I had to really push myself to look at WHY I was resisting God so much. It was a tough look, and I’m going to have to really work hard to move forward, but I have #DETERMINED to do just that… MOVE FORWARD. I think we so often hear, “Well, what’s your motivation?”, and sometimes we can’t think of anything. Sometimes you have to just MOVE FORWARD. And that’s where I am right now. I am #DETERMINED to move forward and I WILL succeed. I will get thru these obstacles with God’s strength.
“Never give in. Never give in. Never, never, never, never—in nothing, great or small, large or petty—never give in, except to convictions of honour and good sense. Never yield to force. Never yield to the apparently overwhelming might of the enemy.” ~Winston Churchill
Thursday, January 30, 2014
Thursday, January 23, 2014
Permissible But Not Beneficial
I really like this subject. It explains my journey, where I'm at RIGHT NOW. This summer I had WLS (read more in previous blog if you're interested). I have lost 70 lbs since my surgery and have done really well... UNTIL the end of November. I've been stalled since then in my weight loss. I've given myself a year to reach my first initial goal, and while I do hate deadlines for weight loss, I would LOVE to be maintaining this summer. We're going on a trip this summer and I would LOVE to be pretty in pictures again. Vain? Yes. I admit, it is. But it's honest, and isn't that was this is all about?
Permissible: food... ALL FOOD. Unlike some people who've gone thru this surgery, I haven't experienced any problems with foods. I guess maybe soda, but I rarely miss that. So, I'm at a point where I can eat whatever I want.. it's permissible. But, it isn't all beneficial. Since I have a smaller stomach, I need to make sure and eat healthy foods and not fill up on junk. It's important for me to realize I am feeding my body, fueling it, and I need to make sure I'm feeding it beneficial foods. Otherwise I'll miss out on healthy nutrients my body needs. This is really where I am, and this is my struggle. You see, WLS is NOT a cure all. While my appetite IS small, my cravings are still there. I'm craving these things because as Lysa has said "We crave what we eat." If I get nothing else out of this book, it will be that statement.
Permissible: spending my time doing EVERYTHING BUT quality time with God. I'm ashamed to admit how much TV I watch. I'm tired at the end of the day, and I just come home and watch TV or read. Reading is good, but I'll admit, not much of my reading is in the bible. TV, I'm afraid is NOT beneficial. Sure, a little bit can't hurt. It is a good way to unwind and relax, I just need to not unwind and relax SO MUCH! I sit at a computer for goodness sakes! It's not like I'm out doing manual labor!!! Beneficial time spent would be reading the bible, time with my husband, reading anything that will make me think and exercising (any movement really...).
So, the PLAN is... because making a plan is always key in making changes.
The Plan:
Stock kitchen and desk at work with HEALTHY options.
Schedule daily exercise.
Stop turning on the TV just to see what's on, I have a MILLION things to do around my house. I have shows I like to watch of course, and I'll watch those, but I need to stop watching marathons of shows!
I think those will go good first steps for me!
Tuesday, January 21, 2014
My Weight Loss Journey
My Weight Loss Journey
I have struggled with my weight since I left college. In college I was active, walked everywhere and had, what seemed like, the extra hours in a day that I desperately need now.
Once I left college I started my career in sitting at a computer. LOL Obviously it’s not my job title, but for the purposes of this blog… it’s the most notable thing. I have a very sedentary job. Once I obtained this wonderful career of sitting at a computer for an ENTIRE day, the last thing I wanted to do, was race home to make dinner. So, I started eating out… A LOT. I’m afraid to say, the pounds just kept adding on, and this time last year, I found myself morbidly obese. It was a scary wake up call. Over the past few years, I’ve tried several diets and at one point worked with a personal trainer. I would go through periods of working out like a maniac! The one time I did really start to lose, was when I was working out 3 hours a day and not eating much. I lost about 30 lbs in a three month period, but I quickly burned myself out. I was exhausted.
I was so tired of being me physically, and tired of little to no results. So about this time last year, I went to see a Bariatric Surgeon. I was embarrassed that I qualified for the surgery. I was even more embarrassed that I was so overweight that the stingy insurance company was going to cover it! GREATFUL, but embarrassed. I went thru months of pre-op work, meeting with dietitians, psychologists, and the pre-op diet. I did lose about 10 lbs with the pre-op diet, but I was anxiously awaiting my surgery date.
I had my gastric sleeve surgery last summer. I have lost 70 lbs and am currently Class I obese (I was Class III)! As part of my post-op program, I signed up to do a half marathon this fall. I’ve never been a runner, so I opted to walk it. I did this to make sure I would stay on an exercise routine, and not risk losing a bunch of muscle. I completed my walk and I’m happy to say I am about 10 lbs from being overweight! Never thought I’d be excited to be overweight. My next step is to concentrate on strength training, and maybe add in some running. I still need to lose about 40 lbs all together to be at a healthy BMI.
I have struggled with my weight since I left college. In college I was active, walked everywhere and had, what seemed like, the extra hours in a day that I desperately need now.
Once I left college I started my career in sitting at a computer. LOL Obviously it’s not my job title, but for the purposes of this blog… it’s the most notable thing. I have a very sedentary job. Once I obtained this wonderful career of sitting at a computer for an ENTIRE day, the last thing I wanted to do, was race home to make dinner. So, I started eating out… A LOT. I’m afraid to say, the pounds just kept adding on, and this time last year, I found myself morbidly obese. It was a scary wake up call. Over the past few years, I’ve tried several diets and at one point worked with a personal trainer. I would go through periods of working out like a maniac! The one time I did really start to lose, was when I was working out 3 hours a day and not eating much. I lost about 30 lbs in a three month period, but I quickly burned myself out. I was exhausted.
I was so tired of being me physically, and tired of little to no results. So about this time last year, I went to see a Bariatric Surgeon. I was embarrassed that I qualified for the surgery. I was even more embarrassed that I was so overweight that the stingy insurance company was going to cover it! GREATFUL, but embarrassed. I went thru months of pre-op work, meeting with dietitians, psychologists, and the pre-op diet. I did lose about 10 lbs with the pre-op diet, but I was anxiously awaiting my surgery date.
I had my gastric sleeve surgery last summer. I have lost 70 lbs and am currently Class I obese (I was Class III)! As part of my post-op program, I signed up to do a half marathon this fall. I’ve never been a runner, so I opted to walk it. I did this to make sure I would stay on an exercise routine, and not risk losing a bunch of muscle. I completed my walk and I’m happy to say I am about 10 lbs from being overweight! Never thought I’d be excited to be overweight. My next step is to concentrate on strength training, and maybe add in some running. I still need to lose about 40 lbs all together to be at a healthy BMI.
Thursday, January 16, 2014
Jesus Saves
My personal testimony....
I grew up in a Christian home. My dad was active duty in the military so we attended services at the Protestant Chapel. I accepted Jesus as my savoir at the tender age of four with my Sunday school teacher, Miss Shirley. Through all our moves we were active at the chapel and I became active in the youth group in jr. high. I LOVED youth group! In fact when I got in trouble, that was the thing that was taken away.
When I got to college I met and fell in love with a boy. Later on, he would (of course) break my heart. I had moved to a different state to be closer to him, and so there I was at a new school with virtually no friends. The friends I did have were from classes and were not there to help me keep on course. I started going out to clubs and drinking. I was frustrated that I had been so hurt by a Christian. I realized later that, but dating Christian guys, I was putting them on pedestals because they were Christians. In the end... I realized they were still boys and they were going to still be mean. But as, DC Talk sings.. I had to learn the hard way. I rode the fence on my Christianity for about 9 months. Went to church, participated in campus crusades, and went out to the club several times a week. I was the very essence of a luke warm Christian.
AND THEN... :)
I went to a Skillet concert. During that concert, I broke down and cried. I cried and cried. I was so embarrassed and ashamed of the way I had been living. I'll be forever thankful that my heart was open and willing to hear God at that concert. He STILL loved me. I was the prodigal son, returning. I was on fire for God, and over the next two years I grew closer to Him. I was in the Word constantly, and even lead a very successful and fulfilling bible study.
Now that I'm happily married to a wonderful Christian man, I do sometimes miss being back at that place. Single and able to really feel like I could give God my all. Of course I was in college, so I also didn't have all the pressures of the day to day grind that I have now. But I'm always hopeful that I can manage my schedule better and find more time for God. Every once in a while I still slip into the "world", but thankful, God pulls on my heartstrings and brings me back. HE is my center!
THAT is my Joyful Witness.
I grew up in a Christian home. My dad was active duty in the military so we attended services at the Protestant Chapel. I accepted Jesus as my savoir at the tender age of four with my Sunday school teacher, Miss Shirley. Through all our moves we were active at the chapel and I became active in the youth group in jr. high. I LOVED youth group! In fact when I got in trouble, that was the thing that was taken away.
When I got to college I met and fell in love with a boy. Later on, he would (of course) break my heart. I had moved to a different state to be closer to him, and so there I was at a new school with virtually no friends. The friends I did have were from classes and were not there to help me keep on course. I started going out to clubs and drinking. I was frustrated that I had been so hurt by a Christian. I realized later that, but dating Christian guys, I was putting them on pedestals because they were Christians. In the end... I realized they were still boys and they were going to still be mean. But as, DC Talk sings.. I had to learn the hard way. I rode the fence on my Christianity for about 9 months. Went to church, participated in campus crusades, and went out to the club several times a week. I was the very essence of a luke warm Christian.
AND THEN... :)
I went to a Skillet concert. During that concert, I broke down and cried. I cried and cried. I was so embarrassed and ashamed of the way I had been living. I'll be forever thankful that my heart was open and willing to hear God at that concert. He STILL loved me. I was the prodigal son, returning. I was on fire for God, and over the next two years I grew closer to Him. I was in the Word constantly, and even lead a very successful and fulfilling bible study.
Now that I'm happily married to a wonderful Christian man, I do sometimes miss being back at that place. Single and able to really feel like I could give God my all. Of course I was in college, so I also didn't have all the pressures of the day to day grind that I have now. But I'm always hopeful that I can manage my schedule better and find more time for God. Every once in a while I still slip into the "world", but thankful, God pulls on my heartstrings and brings me back. HE is my center!
THAT is my Joyful Witness.
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